I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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