nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
