At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
