shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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