Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
