your room smells of hookers.
And success
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
