You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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