I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
They took my balls.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
