i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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