Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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