we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize