At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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