THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
