Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
