so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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