tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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