he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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