I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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