Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
