Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
