shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
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hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
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I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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