New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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