just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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