Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
