I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
