my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
