I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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