wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
