if i can run in heels then i can drive
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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