You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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