I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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