I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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