Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
