but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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