Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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