If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
