I want to make a zoo with you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
