I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
