he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize