don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
