we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
