Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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