haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
