It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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