Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
