I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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