How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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