I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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