I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
