Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
