Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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