just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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