She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
