I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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