I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
