The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
