in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
