"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
